Given the subject matter of the previous blog entry, it’s only fair that I make this one rather quickly.It’s a very disturbing thought to realize that the…different… kinds of people you hear about in this blog are actual real life human beings. Walking their dogs, buying their groceries, asking for your phone number.
You think you’ve met a perfectly decent guy. He’s attractive, witty, clever. Knows how to pick out the good apples in the produce section. You would never think to ask, “Hey, by any chance, have you ever fucked a sheep?”
What’s a person to do, in this day and age? You can find out so much about a person with one quick google search. Former girlfriends, criminal background, that weekend in Cabo they swore never to talk about again (It’s not gay if it’s in a threeway!).
But no one updates their status with, “Man, my grandma is looking so hot in that tankini. Mm hmm. Work it.”
So, I’ve come up with a not in the least sure fire way to gauge the level o’ pervert of your significant other, or potential significant other. We’ve all got a little freak in us, that’s what makes us special. But some people push it just a wee bit over the line.
Now, a few rules before we get started. One, this list is not solely for men. Women are huge perverts. Sometimes, women are more open about their proclivities than men are. I’ve sat in a room full of women who were discussing sexual escapades, vibrator size, excellent porn plots. Women can certainly out raunch the boys, don’t disregard that ever.
I have never gotten a solo female caller in my entire strumpet career. I had a couple on my line once. They sounded all of 21, and giggled the entire time. They do not qualify for this test.
Some of these words are seemingly perfectly innocent. Maybe they are. Maybe I’ve included them solely as filler, or just to fuck with your head. Maybe they’re not. The important thing is to gauge your partner’s response. Something that seems innocent to you may garner a surprising reaction. Pay attention.
If you are going to give this quiz to your significant other, you should be prepared to take it yourself. What’s good for the goose, and all that.
Now, seeing as how the number one rule of Word Association is, “First thing that comes to mind,” taking this quiz while reading it to someone else is a bit of a disadvantage to the other party. While they’re giving their word, you have time to think. Their answers may influence your own, changing the point of the exercise entirely.
Being the thoughtful, generous strumpet that I am, I am providing you with means to avoid this. Below the cut, you will find both the list of words, and a video of myself reading the words aloud, followed by a pause for both of you to provide your answers.
Please note: You must respond with the first thing that comes to mind. If the person hesitates before answering? It is not their first answer. Warning, warning.
You may need to pause between words, to leave time for discussion of answers.
| Cherry | Steak |
| Skin | Pink |
| Wet | Booger |
| Horse | Slut |
| Water | Whack |
| Master | Golden |
| Booby | Eat |
| Jam | Thrust |
| Juice | Shoe |
| Panties | Sack |
| Snatch | Wrap |
| Diaper | Come |
| Nylon | Hair |
| Shower | Mommy |
| Ass | Pillow |
| Bonnet | Paddle |
| Moist | Dog |
| Pussy | Girl |
| Daddy | Breasts |
| Fly | Plug |
| Pre | Heel |
| Polish | Scissor |
| Cock | Beaver |
| Brown | Balls |
| Melon | Stamp |
| Bitch | Package |
| Dirty | Ruler |
| Mother | Whip |
| Sex | Plethora |
| Mouth | Drain |
| Bush | Sand |
| Rabbit | Knob |
| Lotion | Rear |
| Lick | Dick |
| Junk | Beat |
| Lips | Slit |
| Bubble | Fuck |
| Pants | Case |
| Stroke | Gobble |
| Firm | Wrestle |
| Scream | Mom |
| Plank | Scale |
| Point | Swallow |
| Egg | Bulb |
| Cord | Clamp |
| Down | Renal |
| Kumquat | Choke |
| Tit | Suck |
Okay, now this is a short list of words. Maybe while going through them, you’ll think of new words. Keep going. That is, if one or both of you is still playing, and has not walked out in disgust.
You’ll find no “answer key” here. I cannot tell you what your human’s answers mean. What I consider a freak, and what you consider a freak, are two separate things. What this list does it open your brain up, and air out those naughty thoughts in the nooks and crannies.
Note: “Nook” and “crannies” could also be added to the list.
I would love to know how this exercise goes. If you so choose to play along at home, please leave me a comment below, or let me know via Tumblr.
I am not responsible for any extreme reactions of your significant other.
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