Mother May I

As it turns out, having two jobs is not just a time suck, it's also a serious brain suck. I haven't been able to get my brain to function long enough to sit down and write a proper entry for any of my blogs. Even my Tweets are losing steam from lack of sleep.

However, I got laid off on Thursday. Which means that I am depressed, taking a lot more calls, and have SO much more time off. So, I have time to blog in-between birthing tiny rabbits and kittens.

As I have already stated, the line I work for is a No Taboo line. Guys can request anything their sick little hearts desire, and I do not have the option of saying, “Okay, ew? What the hell is wrong with you?”

When I learned I would be working a No Taboo line, my first thought was that I was going to get a lot of calls for guys who want children. I was not in any way prepared for this, but I figured I would handle that when it came along.

Lo and behold, the fantasy I get the most requests for are the complete opposite ends of the spectrum. At least five calls out of 10 are for guys who want to have sex with their mothers.

I’m not a mother. I’ve never had children, nor did I have any brothers. So I may not be the best person to ask this question, but what exactly are these moms doing to their sons to cause them to have such VIVID fantasies about mating with them?

I’m not necessarily judging. Everyone has odd kinks. But the fact that this kink is so common is more than a little disturbing to me. What’s even more disturbing is that many of these callers claim to actually have had sexual encounters with their mothers. Now, I realize that as a phone strumpet, I’m going to be lied to a great deal. It’s not as if I’m totally honest. I say as I tuck my 42DDD breasts into my waistband. But some of the clients are so utterly and completely convinced that they’ve had a sexual relationship with their mother that I can’t help but wonder if they’re not bullshitting me.

There is a difference between a Mother call and a Mommy call. Mother calls, the guys speak clearly and explain that they have this fantasy, and want me to act it out for them. Occasionally they offer examples of what they’ve done with their mother, or opportunities they had to be with their mother that they didn’t act upon. Mostly because these opportunities occurred when they were pre-pubescent. I can handle that. They set me up, I call them little motherfuckers, and the call gets done.

But as I mentioned in the research post, I am not prepared for the Mommy calls. It doesn’t matter how many I get, it’s almost impossible to prepare myself for it. I am not prepared to google “Mommy porn”, mostly because I get the feeling there are grown men in diapers involved. These guys want “Mommy”. They don’t start out telling me what they want, they start out with “Hi, Mommy” and I am supposed to take the lead from there. I really do wish someone would would write a Phone Strumpet for Dummies manual for moments like this.

I have so much fodder in the barely two months I’ve been taking calls. I need to get on the ball and get all my thoughts in here. It’s insane.

Until next time.