The clients have been letting you down, occasional reader. There have been no new and interesting callers lately, and frankly, I’m quite sick of it.
Where are my pervs? Where are my calls that are so amusing that I must run to splash it all over this terribly neglected blog?
It’s shameful, I tell you. Shameful.
Not all is lost, though. I come to you today with a recommendation for a brilliant little film I’ve just finished watching. It’s available on Netflix, the greatest invention since Betty White.
Hotline is a film by a guy who worked on 16 and Pregnant, and Teen Mom. This would be enough to turn me off from the film right away, but luckily, I didn’t find that out until I went looking for the information for this entry.
It centers around many different kinds of call lines. This ranges from suicide lines, teen homework lines, 911 dispatchers, and, of course, the inimitable phone strumpet lines.
We actually get two strumpets in this documentary. Tonya is the owner of her own line, who is just crazy enough to use her own name and picture in her advertising. I really believe that, even if I looked like Natalie Dormer, I would not never ever not ever use my picture to advertise my line. Maybe it’s just that I know what some of these guys think when they look at women. But I don’t want to run the risk of running into one of these people on the street.
No. No. No, really. No.
The other strumpet, Gypsy, I’m not certain what the deal is with her. I see her at a professional desk, then in her car taking a call on her cell. Which makes me jealous, as I can’t take calls while on my cell, and it would make things so much easier. I would be strumpeting on the beach with a mai tai in my hand.
I loved this entire movie, but obviously I was more interested in their parts. They both made some extremely great points, but I have to say. Both ladies talk about meeting their clients outside of the lines.
Not. No. Never. Nuh. Uh.
I have talked to some TRULY fantastic people. I have a gentleman who told me he loved me, and that after our first conversation together, he couldn’t bring himself to ask for me again because he was worried it would ruin the amazing talk we’d had the first time. And now he’s never called back, which makes me very sad, because he was kind of amazing, and everyone deserves to be adored.
Would I meet him in real life?
Not even if you paid me.
The idea of meeting one of the callers wigs me straight the hell out. Which is why the idea of using my actual name and picture to advertise would never occur to me.
Different strokes, and all that.
The movie is very enjoyable, I give it a solid 3 stars. Go check it out, it’s available on several different providers, but Netflix is my personal favorite.
