For all my blasé talk about playing games and pinning recipes while strumpeting, this is not an easy job.
Depending on how closely you’ve read the blog, this may sound amusing to you. Moaning and groaning and saying dirty words? Yeah, what’s curing cancer in comparison to that tough gig?
I acknowledge that mimicking gagging sounds is not rocket science. And sure, moaning and groaning and whispering, “Oh, god, you’re too big” could get the job done just fine, and I could collect my paycheck and keep my whining to myself.
But to be a good phone strumpet, to keep the boys rolling in and the dispatchers in your good graces, you have to have a bit extra. For one thing, you can’t exit the gate at full speed. If he grabs the rabbit too soon, you haven’t gotten your money’s worth.
Or, more accurately, you haven’t gotten your money. We’re paid by the minute, remember?
There’s a certain amount of finesse, too. Just because he calls you a cheap, dirty cocksucker doesn’t mean you have to be easy. I like to play with my food. Get the name, get the description. How else will you know he’s a 6”2 bodybuilder with a monster cock and rock hard abs?
Example of a client in need of finessing:
Strumpet: ”Hello.”
Client: ”Hey, baby. How YOU doin’?”
”Mmm, I’m doing amazing tonight. Who am I talking to?”
”Enh, that’s not important. How big are your tits?”
”Ha ha ha, mmm. They’re 36Cs. So, what do you look like?”
”Enh, average. How’s your pussy looking?”
I really hate these guys. Suck me, fuck me, get me off, and 60 seconds in, click.
Fuck you and your mother, if I had the ability to charge your credit card for a 40 minute call, I would just on principle.
Three years into this gig, and I’m still not an expert at it. Sometimes it’s easier than others. Once, when the client pushed past the details, I paused for about two seconds, and said, “Sooooo, you’re not going to tell me what you look like?”
Enter the Strumpet, shaming her clients into slowing down. Whatever gets the job done.
The point being, there’s a rhythm to strumpeting, and every Strumpet is different. There is no script. We may have our techniques down, but what works for John Mart will never work for John Singer. At least, I hope not. John Mart is no walk in the park.
This entry is about having my rhythm thrown off completely.
