Wh-wh-what’s your fantasy?

I know, I know, you thought I’d died and gone to Strumpet Heaven. I’m still your neighborhood Strumpet. I haven’t quit, or died, or heavens forefend, gotten fired.

I actually have three blog drafts written, but sadly I lost energy for them halfway through, and by the time I went back to them, I’d lost my train of thought.

But it’s a fresh year, and it’s time to get back on the Strumpet Horse and ride once more.

Side note: In Strumpet Heaven, there are no phones.

It’s been roughly six months since I last updated this blog. The calls haven’t stopped, naturally. But sad to say, they’re getting very status quo. I’m still getting more Mommy Fuckers than anyone else. They all have fun names for their man meat, and they all want to stick it somewhere.

I’ve mentioned before on this blog that I despise dealing with clients who have absolutely no idea what they want, short of “Uh…fuckin’.” Yes, but what kind of fucking, sweetheart? “I dunno. Whatever you want.”

This infuriates me. Who calls a sex line at random? No one. They all had something that got the tootsie roll hard. I don’t need a long, drawn-out scenario. Those are nice, of course, but even if all you give me is a blurry water color, this at least gives me a moderate springboard to get the ball rolling and your balls…well, you get the idea.

I have made clients pay for this bit of laziness. It’s a good life lesson for them, in fact. The first time I told someone I was inviting over my lady friend with the 7 inch cock and told him to bend over, he backpedaled so fast I think he tripped over himself.

Now, sometimes I truly do not want to deal with their respective fantasies. The least fun, of course, involves rape. Whether that be the rape of me, the housewife/sexy neighbor/60 year old grandmother, or the rape of someone I snatch and bring home and instruct him in what to do to her. The age issue with the latter scenario is never. ever. pleasant.

But that falls under the category of the stories I don’t share.

It is very rare that I found someone’s fantasy fun. Off the top of my head, I can only think of one client who, when he calls, I kick back and don’t bother pulling up the idiotic Facebook games I play to keep my eyes from closing.